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I demand tomatoes!!

Right now!!!

Suzi Q
I'm a brilliant, overly intelligent guinea pig, and I used to be married to fatchristoph until he died. I like squeaking, running my mouth, oinking, and shrieking at the top of my lungs. I have two creepy sons, einstein_pig and jackiethewacky, but fatchristoph wasn't the father (he was fixed!) I hate how my sons try to hit on me all the time! In fact, I hate it when ANYONE hits on me! I'M NOT INTERESTED AT ALL!!!!!!!

I have one pink ear and one black ear and Mom thinks I'm related to my husband. She also thinks the father of my sons was my brother! But I'll never tell. I will tell you just what I think of you, though, and I have to say that I don't think very highly of you! YOU SUCK!

And dontcuddleme listens to HOLE!!!
air conditioners, apple branches, arguing, arguments, attention, beating up cuddles, beating up my children, being a loudmouth, being bossy, being held, being left alone, being louder than possible, being noisy, being opinionated, being pretty, bell peppers, biting cuddles, biting ears, biting feet, biting mommy, biting my husband's feet, biting your ear off, bossing everyone else around, breakfast, broccoli leaves, cantaloupe, carrots, celibacy, chewing electrical cords, chewing phones, chin scratches, complaining, cussing at jackie, d00m, demanding attention, destroying rating communities, dinner, dominating the conversation, drawing blood, drinking, ear scratches, ears, eating, eating all day long, eating everything in sight, eating feet, eating my husband's feet, eating shirts, eating vegetables, escarole, every kind of tomato, evicting cuddles, expressing my opinions, feet, frightening cuddles, fussing, getting attention, getting cuddled, getting fed, glaring at cuddles, global domination, guinea pig pellets, hairstyling, hating you, having my chin scratched, having opinions, hay, hiding in my house, honeydew, insulting cuddles, insulting everyone, insulting my sons, insulting stupid people, insulting you, kale, lettuce, lunch, making a fuss, making fun of cuddles, making fun of people, making my opinions known, making noise, midnight snacks, mommy, more tomatoes, my house, my mismatched ears, my pretty ears, naps, noise, not being contrary, not being ornery, not being picked up, not being touched, not breastfeeding, not getting spayed repeatedly, not having sex, not listening to music, oinking, opinions, peeing on cuddles, peeing on mommy, pooping, pushing cuddles around, red bell peppers, romaine lettuce, ruining your self-esteem, rumbling, running away, running away from cuddles, running in the kitchen, running into my house, running the world, scratching people, screaming, screeching, sharing my opinions, sharpening my claws, shouting, showing off, shrieking, silence, sitting on babies, sitting on mommy's neck, sitting on mommy's shoulder, sitting on my children, squeaking, squealing, squealing at the computer, squirting the floor, standing up to cuddles, starting arguments, stomping on things, taunting cuddles, taunting stupid people, tearing out einstein's hair, telling everyone my opinions, threatening everyone, tomatoes, tomatoes and more tomatoes, tormenting cuddles, tug-of-cantaloupe, unmolested nipples, vitamin c, volume, wheeping, whining, whining about life's injustice, yelling, yelling about everything